Windbreaker needs a wake-up call

Tell me, Tillie,


My husband breaks wind every morning like clockwork before we even get out of the bed. I have told him that I think it's disgusting, rude, and inconsiderate, but he continues with the daily routine. What should I do?


-"Gassed out"





Dear Gassed,


Punch him in the throat when he toots. If that doesn't stop him, try the balls.

Tillie

Plump = Ignored

Tell me, Tillie:

Over the past few years, I have gained some weight. My husband has started to ogle other women, and it makes me angry. I have given him two beautiful children! I think he should love the way I look, even if I'm 50 pounds heavier than when we married. Am I wrong to be offended?


-"Plump and Unhappy"



Darling Plump,

Can you blame your unhappiness solely on the fact that your husband ogles other women? What about you? Are you happy with the way you look?

I'm not saying that you should look the other way while your husband drools over other women, but it sounds to me like you need to work on YOU. Take care of yourself! Maybe he misses the way you used to get dolled up for him; or your confidence with your body.

Try to make an extra effort to better yourself... I bet his eyes come wandering back to you.

And if they don't, maybe someone else's will!  You don't have to put up with that crap.


Tillie